My Playlist Sucks

Last Updated Jan. 21th, 2010

Lisztomania
Arty Band: Phoenix
Album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Chorus: "Lisztomania, Think less but see it grow, Like a riot, like a riot, oh ! Iím not easily offended, Itís not hard to let it go, From a mess to the masses "

This song is named after the phenomena surrounding 19th-century pianist Franz Liszt, arguably the worlds first rock star, courtest of Hungary. With a bouncy piano intro and some heavy stop-and-start base drumming, this song sounds so good-natured it is almost goofy. If you want rock music that doesn't sound like Alice in Chains, check this one out.
Choice Lyrics: "These days it comes it comes it comes it comes it comes and goes"

Jan 20th, 2005
When I listen to music, it is mostly in my car. I have a Sony MP3 player that allows me to fit over 200 songs on a cd with very little degredation of sound quality. My factory stereo is terrible, but it gets the job done. Anyways, since I have been so mean to fans of a lot of current bands, I thought I would go throungh the 99 or so songs on my player, giving them each an honest evaluation. This page will be updated every so often.

Boyz in the Hood
This is the only picture I could find of them. Band: Dynamite Hack
Album Superfast
Chorus: "Cuz the boyz n tha hood are always hard You come talking that trash we'll pull your card Knowing nothing in life but to be legit Don't quote me boy, cuz I ain't saying shit "

Holy shit another cover on the CD of the guy who constantly bitches about how useless covers are. What an asshole I am. I think the main appeal of this song is the simple irony of emo-dweebs softly singing an old gangsta rap standard. The original song is pretty funny.
Choice Lyrics: "She said something that I couldn't believe, so I grabbed the stupid bitch by her nappy ass weave"

Dammit
I don't wanna grow up either. Band: Blink 182
Album Dude Ranch
Chorus: "And it'll happen once again, you'll turn to a friend Someone that understands, sees through the master plan But everybody's gone, and you've been there for too long, To face this on your own, well I guess this is growing up "

When this song came out I was a sophmore in high school. A guy named Mike Young in my computer class would randomly shout "dammit!". Or maybe it was whenever hsi computer locked up. Either way, it was often. Every time I would reply "I guess this is growing up!". For some reason, Mike didn't beat me to death. He did give me the nickname "J-Dog". This is significant (to me) because the original name of this site was "J-Dog's N64 (Nintendo 64) Site". I started this webpage as a project in that very class.

Anyhow, It's a good simple song about a failed relationship. It's also one of those songs that everyone thinks they can sing, because the lyrics are mostly shouted insted of sung. This song is likely responsible for the formation of thousands of shitty garage bands, as it gave encouragement to countless talentless stoners who thought that they could 'sing' Dammit.
Choice Lyrics: "The timing and structure, did you hear, he fucked her "

Fantastic Voyage
He's doin it for the kids. Band: Coolio
Album It Takes a Thief
Chorus: "Come along and ride on a fantastic voyage Slide slide hoo ride you better be ready for the 5 rolls by, Just roll along (that's what you do), Just roll along (that's right), Just roll along (that's what you do), Just roll along (that's right), Do you want to ride with me "

Another cover. I like coolio because he doesn't rap about how much money he has or how he'll kill you. He tells young blacks to get a job and feed their kids. The song isn't that great, but all my mp3's of 1234 are currupted.
Choice Lyrics: "I try to keep my faith in my people, But sometimes my people be actin like they evil, You don't understand about runnin with a gang, Cause you don't bang, And you don't have to stand on the corner and slang."

Connection
We are awash in a life of decadence and meaningless sex Song: Connection
Band: Elastica
Album Elastica
Chorus: "Another heart has made the trade, Forget it, forget it, forget it, I don't understand how a heart is a spade, But somehow the vital connection is made. "

More chick rock. A really simple song that is now used to sell shampoo to chicks who like the name "Zoe". Pretty catchy. The singer chick uses some goofy fake accent thingy, or maybe she's retarded and that's how she really talks.
Choice Lyrics: "Just as they brought me round, Now that they brought you down, Roundabout and roundabout Who wants a life anyway? "

Come on Eileen
All ska bands look like this Band: Save Ferris
Album It Means Everything
Chorus: "Come on Eileen, oh I swear (what he means), At this moment, you mean everything, With you in that dress my thoughts I confess, Verge on dirty, Ah come on Eileen, it means everything "

I usually frown on covers, but this one's pretty good. While most covers are shitty bands playing the song really fast, ditching any sense of nuance or timing, Save Ferris does a pretty good job. Oh, and early on there's a really tiny sounding overdrive guitar thingy, which reminds me of the opening theme to Love Hina. The original song by Dexys' Midnight Runners is pretty good too.
Choice Lyrics: "These people round here wear beaten down eyes, Sunk in smoke dried faces, They're so resigned to what their fate is, But not us (no never), no not us (no never) We are far too young and clever, Remember, Go toora loora toora loo rye aye, Eileen I'll hum this tune forever "

Come as You Are
These guys use to be big, I guess. Band: Nirvana
Album Nevermind
Chorus: "No i don't have a gun And i swear that i don't have a gun No i don't have a gun "

In an early episode of Daria, Daria asks her best friend where her brother is (her friends brother). Her friend replies "Most likely playing the first couple of chords from Come as YOu Are over and over. That's most likely my favorite Daria moment ever (which isn't saying too much). The intro is very distinct. I don't even like the song that much. Oh shit. It just reminded me of Days of the New, circa 1999. I am so pissed now.
Choice Lyrics: "Come, doused in mud, Soaked in bleach, As i want you to be, As a trend, as a friend, as an old... "

Shake it Up
Cooler than Journey Band: The Cars
Album Shake it up
Chorus: "Shake it up.Shake it up. Shake it up. Shake it up. "

I have no idea why this song is on my CD. It is just so dull and banal. I do like music in the early 80's guitar and cheap synth genre, but this one is just too lame.
Choice Lyrics: "Dance all night. Dance all night. Go all night."

Cannonball
One of them's Kim Deal If you don't know which, I envy you. Band: The Breeders
Album Last Splash
Chorus: "Hey now, hey now, ... Want you, Koo Koo, Cannonball "

When it comes to music, It is very important to me that the musicians have some talent, and that the song writers can write a melody with catchy, if not clever lyrics. I hold chick bands to a significantly lower standard than guy groups. Thats why I can listen to Garbage and some of No Doubt's shittier songs without too much intestinal cramping. Cannon Ball by the Breeders is almost cool by guy standards. It's a bit simple and repetetive, but it rocks sufficiently enough to half-heartedly recommend it.
Choice Lyrics: "Spitting in a wishing well, Blown to hell... crash, I'm the last splash, I'll be you're whatever you want, The bong in this Reggae Song "


January 13th, 2005

Bad Touch
Hooray for Monkeys Band: Bloodhound Gang
Album Hurray for Boobies
Chorus: You and me baby ain't nothing but mamals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel

I think we all remember this song from about 5 years ago. It's a whiteboy rap song with an overly simple techno beat. Its catchy and some of the lyrics are funny in a way that is too dumb to be called sophmoric. It's also been kind of overplayed. It still has its place, I guess.
Choice Lyrics: "...and we can do it doggy style so we can both watch X-Files"

Basket Case
Art? Band: Green Day
Album Dookie (Man, what an album)
Chorus: It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up, am I just paranoid, or am I just stoned?

One of Greendays first singles, if not their first. I loved this song when it came out, and I never grew sick of it, though many people did after a couple years.The video was pretty cool too. It's too bad that they had to go on to make "Time of your life", a precursor to "Hold On" in terms of maudlin pathos. For a number of years I was really scared of dying. Not because of my uncertainty concerning the terms of the afterlife, but because some idiot in my family would have "Time of your life (good riddance)" played at my funeral. But I digress.
Choice Lyrics: "Do You have the time, to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once"

Birdhouse in Your Soul
Rock Stars Band: They Might Be Giants
Album Flood
Chorus: Blue canery in the outlet by the lightswitch, who watches over you, make a little birdhouse in your soul.

If there is one thing that brands me for life as a nerd (besides being a computer programmer, playing video games, and making this website), it's listening to They Might Be Giants. The wildly eclectic music made by two guys named John has never seen much success outside of maybe the lame theme song from Malcom in the Middle. Despite the obvious part in the chorus, it took me a few listens to figure out that the song is sung from the perspective of a bird shaped night lite who, while proud of his position as a guardian of the night, feels inadquate compaired to his massive forefathers.
Choice Lyrics: "There's a picture opposite me, of my primitive ancestry, who stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free."

Blister in the Sun
Sausage Fest Band: The Violent Femmes
Album The Violent Femmes
Chorus: "Let me go on, like a blister in the sun, let me go up, big hands I know you're the one"

This is a preety cool song that has recieved a lot of air play. As far as songs about being strung out on heroine are concerned, this one's pretty cool. Too bad it was bastardized for the shitty 2 Guys a Girl and a Pizza Place.
Choice Lyrics: "When I'm walkin' I strut my stuff and I'm so strung out. I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out."

Brain Stew
He Knows. Band: Greenday
Album Insomniac
Chorus:

Another Greenday song. This one has the "crunch" (I'm sorry) that Pappa Roach emulated so closely on "Last Resort", but without the suicidal undertones. You could accuse Brainstew of being too repetitive, I guess. I used to have Brainstew without Jaded on my CD, but my friend Matt took it as a personal insult.
Choice Lyrics: "I'm having trouble tryin' to sleep, I'm countin' sheep but runnin out. As time ticks by, still I try."

Buddy Holly
Sit on it, Potsie. Band: Weezer
Album Weezer
Chorus: "Ooh ee Ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly, oh oh and you're Mary Tyler Moore. I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care about that."

This is the song with the video that takes place in the diner from Happy Days (Oddly, all these songs seem to have some sitcom connection). Its a catchy song that relies a little too heavily on name dropping, though thankfully nowhere near Jamie Fox levels. When Microsoft release Windows 95, they shipped it with the video for this song on the CD. It was about 30 megabytes for a 4 minute song. At the time it was a pretty good compression rate for sub VHS quality video. It impressed me enough that I watched the video enough times to get it stuck in my head for weeks at a time.
Choice Lyrics: "Whats with these homies dissin' my girl, why do they gotta front? What did we ever do to these guys, that made them so violent?"

Burning Down the House
Yeah. No comment. Band: Tom Jones and the Chick from the Cardigans
Album ?
Chorus: "Three-Hun-dred-Six-tey-Five-Degrees, Burning Down the House"

I was getting worried for a while. I said that my intent for this update was to knock myself down a few pegs, but up until now, the songs have been pretty good. This song, however, is quite an oddity. Its a cover of a Talking Heads song from the early 80's, re-done as a duet. As always, Tom Jones sings as if he were trying to give himself an anurism without resorting to screeming, and the Cardigan chick uses her usual dissafected breezy duotone voice.The music is reproduced using fake sounding horns that are just a step or two away from Super Nintendo orchestra hits. The whole thing is just so campy I can't help but like it. Unlike a lot of covers which have the words and the notes but totally miss the tone, oh nevermind, fuck it. I was going to say that the collaborators understood the mindset of David Byrnes nonsense lyrics, but come on, this is the chick best known for Love Fool.
Choice Lyrics: "People on their way to work, baby what did you expect. Gonna burst into flame."

Far Behind
Im the early 90's, all album covers looked like this. Band: Candlebox
Album Candlebox
Chorus: "Now maybe, I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad, But I did it anyway, Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had, But you couldn't share the pain."

I don't like this song much. I have it on my CD as a reminder. When I was in 7th grade a kid in my class used to sing this song by screwing up his voice in a way that made him sound like an ornery cow. Years later a band named Creed achieved massive success using this very same technique. Always remember. Never forget.
Choice Lyrics: "None, really."


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